In the last issue, there was a letter from an oblate responding to the recent convention theme of Benedictine hospitality and how it had affected her life. Here is another perspective which was inspired by that letter.
"I'm home." These words are uttered by many who pass through the doors of our retreat house and they make a very definite statement. For those of us who provide a sacred space where people come aside to seek Christ, it is a very humbling reality that we by our lives help create a space where people feel at home. The question still could be asked, "What do they mean by, "I'm home'?"
By looking to the Rule of St. Benedict, we find Benedict's admonition to "welcome all guests as Christ" (RB 53.1). Do guests know this admonition? Are they perhaps expressing a personal reality of what they experience interiorly in coming aside to spend time with God? Are they themselves making room in their lives in a radical way to allow God to enter and touch their hearts with His grace, His presence? Why do they choose to come to a monastic retreat house? What makes it such a special meeting place with God?
Having met my monastic community first as a retreatant, I have experienced this reality of being able to say, "I'm home." My life was very full with work, family, friends and activities. Yet, it was important to me to come aside twice a year for a weekend away from the hustle and bustle of my everyday life.
The easiest way to explain it is simply to say that I needed time and a sacred space in which to allow my relationship with God to grow and mature. Did I realize that I was spending time at a monastery? In all honesty, my answer is no. Did I realize that the community was welcoming me in as Christ? Again, my answer is no. However, being a recipient of the community's hospitality enabled me to experience in an awesome way Christ present.
What was it I experienced when I came? Quite simply, the answer is warm hospitality. This hospitality sprang from the community's welcoming each person as Christ. How was this ideal enfleshed? One of the sisters would be there to greet me when I arrived. There were sisters in the kitchen and dining room providing a warm, welcoming space where I felt like a very honored guest. But it was still more than this. It was something mysterious that made the buildings and grounds holy. After a few retreats the mystery was not solved but better understood. I just was not coming to a retreat house, I was coming to the home of these monastic women to seek God in a deeper way. I was making space in my heart for God to enter and live -- in short, I was making a home for God in my life.
Coming to know the monastic community and starting to share in the lives of these women in a different way as a volunteer, and later as a vocation guest leading to becoming one of these monastic women, I discovered a radical way of living.
This radical way of living is what we as Benedictines are called to live by our daily lives. By making a "home" for Christ in our hearts, we create an atmosphere that others will find welcoming. By welcoming Christ in our own lives, we become more able to recognize Him in the guest, the poor, the pilgrim and, importantly, in those with whom we share our monastic vocation.
How does each monastic create a "home" for Christ in his/her life? St. Benedict says that "the concern must be whether the novice truly seeks God and whether he shows eagerness for the Work of God, for obedience and for trials" (RB 58.7). This creation of "home" is truly found in the seeking of God. It is enfleshed by our words and actions. For me participating in the Work of God is much more than simply being present; it is striving after St. Benedict's ideal that "our minds are in harmony with our voice" (RB 19.7). This may sound simple, but experience has taught and continues to teach me how easy it is for the mind to wander. My body is present, but my thoughts are many miles away.
Daily Mass nourishes me with spiritual food and the reading/prayer begun in chapel is further nurtured by the silence we strive to maintain in the monastery. Meals are a source of nourishment not only for the body, but also for the spirit through the wonderful monastic tradition of table reading. Lectio and private prayer are also integral and important parts of my day.
My time of lectio and private prayer is enhanced by spending some or all of this time before the Blessed Sacrament. Christ's presence in a special way in the tabernacle in our monastery is a tangible sign for me that He is always there. He is always inviting/waiting for me to come spend time with Him, and I need to take time and spend it with Him. What I learn and experience from this time, I pass on to others in community and ultimately to those whom I meet: guests, family, friends and even the stranger. My life becomes a lived witness to Christ and I make Him present to a world searching for something to fill the void.
The answer to the question of what is meant by "I'm home" has different meanings for each individual who utters the words. For me, it meant I was beginning to create a space for Christ in my life and, in creating the space, I was learning to embrace a new way of life. One of my favorite images of Christ is Sallman's "Christ at Heart's Door." Christ was always at the door of my heart. Coming aside to a sacred space I learned how to give Him the
Mary Clare Amorino, OSB
Temporary Vows
St. Emma Monastery
Greensburg, PA